I need to be patient.

If you asked me two months ago how it's going with my parents and I, I would have probably said, "great" without any lies attached to it. However, if you asked me that now, I would say, "I only pray that my parents can be as patient as I am most of the time." The fighting is not as bad as way before, but it's still very annoying to me. I dislike arguing with my parents for the stupidest reasons. Just now, when I was enjoying my shower, the showerhead suddenly "broke" in a sense. I decided to tell my dad after getting out of the showers. So when I got out and started changing, my dad asked me if I was done and I overheard him and my uncle talking about a broken showerhead on their end as well. (They're fixing my parents' bedroom restroom). I said that I'm almost done and I thought my dad said something to me about my showerhead being capable of being broken and I said to him, "Mines too" but I guess his weak ears didn't hear me correctly. So when I got out and I let him look at it, he yelled at me for not telling him. -Sighs- It just happened; I'm letting him look at it; why is he yelling at me? If he's already there, in the restroom, looking at it, and I'm not saying anything because it's right smack in his face, then I don't think it really matters if I tell him or not because it's right in his face, the proof that he was right about it. No need to get worked up and yell at me for "not telling him" that it's broken. If he didn't look at it or even come to me, then yea, I would go tell him. I don't see the reason for yelling at me, especially for something as small and insignificant as this on new years eve. It's just not healthy. Plus, we have company over. Can't you at least behave yourself in front of them, even if they're family members? Please have a little common courtesy to those who come to this horrendous household. The worst part isn't even this. It's the aftermath that gets me irritated. My dad pretends that nothing had happened and goes by with his day. Since this is an Asian family, most of you would relate (maybe) so I won't say more. -Sighs- I think I should stop ranting.

New Years Resolution:
Focus more, read more, and get all the books on my list of books to get.
What's yours? (:

jasy

okashi~ne

Recently, people have talked much less to me, than I'd hoped. ~Sabishii, yo.

Josh & Matt

God gave me two books:
Joshua and Matthew.
God gave me two chapters:
Joshua 18 and Matthew 10.
Go and divide the land and send out the apostles.

"He who receives you receives me,
and he who receives me receives the one who sent me.
Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet
will receive a prophet's reward,
and anyone who receives a righteous man
because he is a righteous man
will receive a righteous man's reward.
And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water
to one of these little ones because he is my disciple,
I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."
- Matthew 10: 40 - 42


I just thought this was an interesting verse.

I'd say...

this past week and weekend were so funny.
however, I miss my sisters & brothers at IMPACT.
I will, however, see you this weekend.
it'll rain & you'll see me as happy as can be.
today, I got my first B on a test in Chem 2B.
now THAT is a miracle. THANK YOU JESUS.

♥ jasypants

Abba Father, Abba Father

For cell group, we soaked in God's presence. It was totally amazing. I felt like I could do it forever. God totally gave Alice a song with a melody! I'll post it up when we're totally finished it with. Someone needs to record our worship time - next time. These girls really get me motivated and it's good cause then on Sunday, I can get even more motivated. Saturday can be like the first 50% and then Sunday is the last 50% of my spiritual energy and then comes the whole "God and I" time too - that, on the other hand - would be my extra 10 to 100 % energy :D

Anyway, I realized recently that I really need to lay down all my worries in front of Abba Father and let Him take control. Lord, I ask that you take control of my life and shake it, shake it REEEEEAL HARD because things ARE happening and I want to be apart of it. Take control, do it Your own way, whatever way that is because I have faith - I know that You are faithful and that You are always there for me because You are a Good God. Amen.

Jas.

vase of silk

Last night, before I went to bed, I asked God to show me dreams, visions, and or revelations; new ones. I wasn't expecting something so vivid that I would still remember till now, nearly 24 hours later. I remember everything about this dream/vision. I would draw it out for you, but I'm not good at drawing. However, the girl in this dream/vision is.

This was vividly about Jennifer. There was words of knowledge in this dream/vision too. Amazing, isn't it? Jennifer and her mom (and or parents). Jennifer was standing next to a big cloth-like painting material that somewhat looked silky as well. I'm not sure if that's possible when it comes to painting, but yeah. She, like the Jennifer we all know and love, had a smile and a funny gesture that pointed toward the painting. So, you're probably wondering what the painting was, right? Ok, your wait has ended. On the left bottom hand corner to the middle of the left side of the cloth, was a kind of wave-like shape. Its color was a dark gold color that looked pretty silky (picture of the carli dress). On the right hand corner, there was a shape of a vase and its color was silky teal (the skirt). It kind of looked like the glass windows in those traditional churches, but it was paint-like and silky-like instead. It could have not been a painting, but something told me that it was. The cloth itself was a pastel yellow.


Well, I said there was words of knowledge and Jennifer has just confirmed that they were right! but I'm not sure and I don't want to assume that it is. But I'll say it and Jennifer can tell me herself if it was or not. What I heard in this dream/vision was that Jen and her mother have been kind of off lately and it's either her birthday or its for Christmas that Jennifer did that painting for her (or it could be for both that s what i was kind of eh about). She'll probably do this in the future when she has received the education for doing this kind of painting. *It'd be cool if it were by next Christmas.

That's all, kiddos.
♥ jasypants

such anointing!

I came to church not expecting such anointing that came down today during worship and service.
Well, yesterday, for cell group, stephanie, alice, and i talked about what we'd want to do for God and alice and i said we wanted to help the homeless, the children, and such, and today, peter's uncle, paul was talking about our calling. stephanie and i were like, "whoa" haha. it was a good service, i'd say. now, after the service, paul said that if we wanted to know what our calling was (prayer by him, karen [i think thats her name], allan, and two others) then come on up to the front. so a bunch of us went to the front. i stood there, waiting for my turn.

i got prayed for four times.

1. karen prayed for me first. she was spot on. she said a command to rebuke the anger from me and my family and that i be used as a vessel to bring peace to the family and help them turn their hearts back to Jesus Christ. i've been praying about that this past two months so i started to cry and started to pray in tongues as well as in words. i think she also said something about public speaking.

2. then paul prayed for me. i was already praying to God silently. my right hand was halfway out in front of my right side of my body. paul touched my hand and i guess he saw something. he then asked me my name and i told him. he then prayed to our Father. he prayed that double of his anointing would fall onto me to help me better understand scriptures (the Bible) and have more revelations and visions. i got pretty excited because yesterday i think i told stephanie and alice that i wanted to have more visions and revelations because i haven't had one in so long. then he moved on.

3. i dont know his name x_x but this younger guy prayed for me. he prayed about communications, education, and doing what God has put inside of me for Him and because i'm good at it. the first thing i thought about was writing, haha. he then asked to have fire come down on me, more and more. afterwards he called a girl over to pray in tongues with him, i suppose. it kind of got loud because paul was praying for kay and sarah who were next to me and paul had the mic so i couldn't really hear the guy that well. but after paul finished with kay and sarah, he came back to me.

4. (i didn't realize that everyone else had sat back down and i was the only one who was still standing in the front) paul started feeling around me this sense of burden which i definitely have had at that moment because i wanted to lay my burdens in front of God and paul said, "she has a lot of burdens" and the girl said, "yeah" so paul started asking God again (after he asked me what my name was and i didn't blame him, haha) to free me from my burdens that i had with family and myself. it took a while, at least to me it did, haha. but afterwards, i did feel freer than i have been.

that was srsly some good stuff today. i know that sometimes it can be personal, but for everyone, personal prayers are always what you define it yourself. i'm pretty open so that's why i'm sharing this. paul showed us a lot of verses that said nearly the same thing but they were very powerful. if you want, i think johnny or jennifer or someone else will post about it. if not, i'll do it later.

it was fun.
:S jas

just a thought...

I don't know if this makes any sense but I'm just going to say it.
It seems to me that it was God's creations that led to the study of biology and all those other sciences we have. God made everything to work a specific way. However, global warming is occuring.

not wasteful

So this past weekend, I went to "THECALL" with Jack, Annie, Enoch, Jennifer, Ryan, Sammy, Johnny, Joy, Shin, Andy, Chris, Grace, Sarah and company, and a few more. It was SUGE SUBARASHI. People were weeping for this nation like there's no tomorrow. It was too hot during the day and Enoch, Chris, and I only lasted about 2 or so hours on the field area. We finally decided to go into the shade and we sat there until it got darker and then we went back down. I'd have to say that the best parts were at the beginning and at the end. During the daytime, and I'm sure most of you remember, was when they asked all the different types of people to stand; women, men, hispanics, asians, african americans, and more. i started crying because it was so touching and i was praying too. i didn't have any tissues so i was wiping my tears everywhere and soon it got annoying, haha. but man, it was amazing. those who didn't go, GO NEXT TIME! oh & at night, it was so cool. we danced so much and screamed so much and prayed and cried so much that i think i felt Heaven shaking (and the atmosphere was "shaking"); and no, it was NOT the stereo that sent sonic waves all around the stadium, haha. (oh & we saw debbie, john, and lydia hendrickson!) -- and i found out today that tiffa was there, haha.

something funny happened though. sarah might get mad at me, but all i'mma say is that Enoch sort of looked like a criminal trying to get sarah's door open to open the trunk and get her keys out. x=

so now, for today's event: SAY YES ON PROP 8 (AND 4, but we didn't really do that today)
at first, we were suppose to be at the city hall area for this event, but when annie told us that at the voting booth, there are a lot of people supporting prop 8 and protesters against prop 8 there, we decided to go there instead since city hall had too many people there helping out already. so we got to the voting booth and there were TONS OF PEOPLE supporting prop 8 standing around the corner screaming it. when we parked our cars, we stood right in front of the place where you line up to vote. we spent from 2:45 pm to 5:15 pm saying, "SAY YES TO PROP 8" to the point where it almost sounded like we were chanting, hahahaha. it was amazing though. the protesters kept saying that we're discriminating against them and hating on the homosexuals when it's not even ABOUT that. but if you really think about it, they're the ones who point the middle finger at us, saying "EFF YOU" to us when for our supporters, the worst that they did to the protesters was a thumbs down. COME ON! WHO'S HATING NOW? even some protesters rip up the signs on people's lawns. it's so immature! oh! which reminds me, there was this lady who passed by us and shouted, "EFF YOU" to us, right? well, the protesters started giggling and laughing. i thought it was so immature. i wouldn't even laugh if someone said that to them. i find it very offensively sometimes you know? they're so mad that it defeats their purpose of being there in the first place, in a way. they're the ones showing the hate, not us. we were pretty calm most of the time. it was pretty funny how the police officers started to give tickets out to those who honk their horns. i was pretty surprised (to either side of the party). a few of us were praying as well. the protesters say that our people do that too, but out of all the people who passed by us, no one did those things to them, just us. and they kept shouting about equality. THEY ALREADY HAVE EQUALITY. since this was freedom of speech and all, don't they realize that see, they too have that equality that we have as well.

sometimes i don't think that this nation thinks about it before doing it. they just listen to what the candidates they like choose and they choose that or that they don't think about the confusion that their children will go into if this prop doesn't go through. i mean yeah, there's always adoption, but still, those children will be confused as well. they kept saying about equality, right? where's the equality when children are force to see that their parents are a dominance of two females or two males. also, the protesters said that we're discriminating but nonbelievers always discriminate us christians on our beliefs. so that's one huge contradictory on their part, am i right? haha!

DEFINE MARRIAGE: the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

COME ON.
i could go on, but i won't since it's getting late and i must rest. x______x
i saw monet's guardian when she was still in california when we were at city hall.

anyways, next topic. so after the event today, we all decided to go to IHOP (HOUSE OF PANCAKES, MY DARLINGS) and guess what? we got AT LEAST THREE MEALS EXTRA FOR FREE!! it was crazy! and the people there were sooo nice! God, bless them with more customers! also, jack gave us this tiny speech of how proud he was of us going to the frontline like that today. n_n awwww either way, if it's for God, i'll do it. i don't care if i'mma get arrested or shot at, i'll do it. sign me up!

this weekend was SOOOO NOT WASTEFULL and i'm proud. =] however, on the flip side, i have to STUDYHARD for the chemistry test this wednesday, lol. THANK YOU JESUS! THE SKY/CLOUDS WERE BEAUTIFULLL!!!

♥ jas

p.s. VOTE YES ON PROP 8!

ugh

funny stuff.
parents wake me up when i don't need to be woken up,
but doesn't wake me up when i do need to be woken up.

=.="

My political science teacher, during our exam today, was on facebook.
On one of his pictures, I commented him & he pointed it out today in class;
WHILE WE ALL WERE TAKING OUR EXAM. =.="

"Is Jasmine here today?" - Uranga
^ - oh, brother. hazukashiiiii. =_=

Herbal Tea

I kept smelling herbal tea today.
Got to admit, it's one of my most favorite fragrance/smell.

64.

$64, 64 sociology questions.

God's timing

Made a friend in badminton class today.
His name is John & I believe that he believes in God.
He's a very funny guy & very good at badminton.
Had two conversations with him today.
First one was about my classes and stuff.
The second one, I believe, God stuffed it in for me.

*Looks at my IMPACT BREAKTHROUGH T-shirt*
"That's a cool shirt" - John.
"Yeah? You wanna buy one?" - Me.
"What? Really? You sell them?" - John.
"Haha, not exactly. My church does" - Me.
"Oh? What church do you go to?" - John.
"IMPACT HARVEST CHURCH" - Me.
"Where is it?" - John.
"We just moved to Arcadia" - Me.
"Oh, where was it before?" - John.
"Rosemead Blvd" - Me.

Then we had to get back to the tournament that we were having. I didn't bring my bag because it was in Joy's car and I didn't think this was gonna happen. I should have gotten his contact because he said he was gonna help me in Sociology cause he had my teacher (Juge) two times so he knows how my teacher does everything. Plus, of course, to invite him to join us whenever he can.

Cool guy.
Tuesday.

I need more Royal Encounter Flyers.
Ran out since Monday. Gave it all away.
But I only had five with me, so eh. Ha.

Jasmine.

Houses

As I was coming to school today, I was taking a good look at the houses around me. I know this entry might be a bit weird, but I just need to say something about it. The houses seem to be getting bigger. I don't see the point of wasting space that way. All we need is a decent sized home to hold all of our stuff. I mean I do understand that people buy a lot of stuff and has more than two cars and a lot of kids. That's a different story, though. I'm talking about a family with maybe one or two kids, two cars, both parents or for some, one parent. However rich you are, I don't think it's neccessary to buy such a huge place to live in. The land is only so big and we have used enough of it for our food supply and etc. Also the pricing on houses is getting ridiculous as well as for cars and the gas prices. Of course, that's a different story. Don't get me wrong, it feels nice to be in those houses and to look at them, but if you really think about it, it's... irritating. What happens when you become old and you have a two or even a three story house; if they have a three story house soon or in the future. Wouldn't it be hard for you to go up and down the stairs? You might say right now, "it's not a bother. i'm still young." Yeah, you're young now but not in 20 years or so. I know some people would agree with me on this. When I was younger, I use to love to climb up the stairs and then back down again. However now, I feel vex when looking at stairs. We truly are becoming a more lazier state. There are also disadvantages to having a two story house. I'm not going to say it, but I hope you know what I mean. Jumping is fun, but don't go overboard. Ok. I'm going to stop now. Random post, I suppose.

Jazy

srsly

What I'm about to say is the truth.
My dad just kept saying to me earlier that I am stupid and incapable of doing things because I'm lazy; that once I speak, people will know that I don't know anything.
He says he knows me best because I'm his child.
Does he really?
I'm always cooped up in my room, at church, or at school; I never speak my mind to him unless he provokes me to and usually, when that happens, I'm not thinking straight.
I'm still surprised that I'm capable of differentiating between God and my dad and I'm glad I can do that.
"at least you have a lot of passion to the things you're interested in and not wasting it on drugs and sex" - toki
that's so true.
My mom, who agrees with me & wants me to do what I wanna do in life so I can be happy doing it without complaining, even backstabbed me in front of my dad. Out of all people in the world, I never expected my mom to do that to me. That's the part that hurt the most. My dad thinks that I don't love them because I don't do anything for them. I do love them, they just make it hard for me to show it.
I see them utterly different now than ever before.

You know what? I need prayers.

- Jasmine

p.s. In God, I will succeed in what I like to do, but then again, in God, I can complete my studies as a dental hygienist major.

pp.s the next time someone asks me what my major is, I'm going to say this, "my major is dental hygiene. so basically once i graduate, i'll get tons of money, be miserable because i'm looking at teeth 12 - 14 hours a day, and at the end when i go home, i'd wanna kill myself because i'm so damn miserable, but i can't cause its a sin to kill yourself and i wouldn't want my family to go to jail for what i did and then it'll start all over again the next day" -- I'm serious. I will say that.

20 yrs

Last night, a couple of us (Aaron, Johnny, Joy, Sarah, Alice, Sammy, and I) went to the Pre-Call rally at the Angelus Temple Hispanic Church in downtown LA. Boy, was it worth ditching for! Lou Engle was there & so was Eduardo who played Jose in the awesomely touching movie "BELLA." For those of you who haven't seen Bella, do so immediately. This isn't a request, this is a command. xP

Anyways, Lou was talking about Joel 2 and Matthew 17.
Lou has been waiting 20 years for something like the Pre-Call rally last night; where Hispanics unite with the rest of us in fast and pray for this nation, for abortion and many other issues that are going on today that violates what God has promised us. This morning, as I remembered to re-read Matthew 17, I noticed that Matthew 19 was about divorce and that was one of the topics that Lou was talking about last night at the rally. This is what Matthew 19:4-6 says, "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Proof.

As for Joel 2, I don't remember quite exactly if Lou had a specific verse, but I just looked through it again and I highlighted a couple verses that stood out to me and what I remember from last night. I'm actually surprised that I could remember anything since once I got home I slept right away. Ha. Anyway Joel 2:

verses 1-5 (too long, but you can take a look at it for yourself in your own Bible or go to www.biblegateway.com
verse 12 "Even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning."
verses 15-17
verse 20 "I will drive you the northern army far from you..."
verses 28-30 "And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy..." (www.biblegateway.com)
verse 32 "And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved; for on Mount Zion..." (www.biblegateway.com)

promises. all have been kept.

then as Joy was driving Sammy, Aaron, and I back, I think it was the area a little bit before the gas station, I saw this billboard. Lou was saying how he's been waiting 20 years for Hispanics to unite, also talking about Mexico. On the billboard I saw "20 years in Mexico" or something like that. I was like, "Oh my God." Crazy.

Oh & yesterday morning, before I headed off to school, I was waiting for my dad to finish taking a shower so he could drive me to school. Parking is a pain. I was having my prayer time on my bed (it actually looked like I was sleeping with my hands in the air, haha) and I was just praying in English and in tongues and I was just so peaceful after a few minutes and then I started smelling this really nice fragrance and I said, "God, if that was You, let it be stronger." So I waited a few seconds and sniffed. (yes, sniffed) Suddenly, I could smell it even stronger than before. But it was only a little bit stronger. Soon, I realized that I was going to be late to class so I just said, "Thank You Jesus. Hallelujah. Amen and Amen."

- Jasypants

what happens in K-mart...

So on saturday, there was only Kay, Alice, and I who attended our usual cell group meeting. This time, it was at my place, but since Alice was really hungry and I didn't have anymore bread, we decided to have city invasion while we go around Albertsons to buy bread. We prayed for a lot of people, randomly too.

When we got to CVS, we were excited because of when Joy, Pastor John, Katherine, and I went last week for CALL OF DUTY CITY INVASION. So we were walking around the Pharmacy area and atlas Alice saw someone who she wanted to pray for; Marsha. Then it was Kay and me left and a woman walked by me who was speaking in vietnamese and Kay asked me if I understood. I said yes, but I was really scared cause my vietnamese was absolutely unstable. However, I went up to her anyway. Her name was Karen and I was just about to pray for her when she got called over to the pharmacists. He was asking her what was going on and she didn't know. Then he asked Kay and me and I told him that we were just asking her if she wants any prayers. Then he told us to come to where he was so we could talk. He was telling me about the code/rule that they have at CVS. He used a word but I forgot what it was. (sorry) Alice soon came over and was listening too. After he told us we said we were sorry and left.

Then.. we headed towards Albertsons to get some bread. I believe that Kay prayed for someone, but I don't remember. So after that, we went to K-mart. We were walking around at first. Then Alice prayed for this hispanic couple, but I don't know what happened there cause I was off praying for her. Then Alice asked me about this name I got when we were praying for this other person in Office Depot named John. The name I got was Sylvia. (Dangit. Should have asked him if his gf's name was Sylvia) So we started calling out Sylvia's name outloud randomly; not to anyone specific. Suddenly, someone magically answered.

"Sylvia!" - all three of us
"I'm right here!" - a girl
(we turn to each other o_O!)
"Let's go" - Kay
(Alice and I start walking over to where the girl was; hesitated a little cause the girl's boyfriend came over)
"Go ask her" - Kay
(Alice walks over to them)
"I'm sorry but this might sound random, but is your name Sylvia?" - Alice
"No my name isn't Sylvia" - the girl

It was crazy! Her boyfriend called her around the same time we called out "Sylvia." How funny.


God is a humorous God, Amen. That's right.

p.s. I'm trying to not say that anything is a coincidence cause it's not.
pp.s. Look on Alice's blog for more information on this.


jasy

oman

a lot of us are getting attacked, but we shall stay strong and have faith!
oh& congrats anniewanglee! lol

yay

Alice is doing this with me. Of course for her own reasons. I've become aware of some things. I realized that my mom is worried about me not getting the right amount of nutrients so she keeps making me tuna fish sandwiches in the morning before going to work. I really appreciate what she's doing and I will repay her by eating it. Which means, I'm adding tuna to my list of things I will eat. Already prayed to God. I don't think my dad understands some of the meanings behind veggies. There's this soup that he says has veggies in it, but he thinks that I should eat that ALL THE TIME. "What else are you gonna eat?" No. There are other kinds of dishes I can eat with veggies, dad. ha. Anyway, that's my normal update, I guess.


Jasmine

fast&pray

Starting from September 1st to January 1st, I will be on a mission. fast&pray, baby!


Why, you ask?
Simple: I want to see God do something in my life.
Times:
Monday&Wednesday: 9:OO pm - 1O:OO pm
Tuesday&Thursday: 9:3O pm - 1O:3O pm
Friday: 12:OO am - 1:OO am,
12:OO pm - 1:OO pm,
7:OO pm - 9:OO pm
(could change due to school schedule & other things)


These are the things I'll only eat and drink:
- water (it's essential)
- milk (make my papa proud)
- dairy products
- veggies (certain ones like rau lan and salads)
- fruits (make my papa proud)
- bread (it's essential)


Prayers:
- My family (mostly parents)
- My major (it's a critical time)
- School of Disciples (my desire to become more for God)
- Japan
- Darin Noriyuki (the best friend)
- Kalong (yes, she's still important to me)
- The younger generation (rise up revivalists)
- Our generation
(to come back to Christ
& rise up revivalist who aren't afraid to do God's will)


Probably not suppose to tell people I'm fasting, but I don't care. I believe God's gonna do something. I'll be using the present Alice, Amy, & Monet gave me for my birthday.


I will be the lighthouse for those who's lost their way.
I wont be afraid to let the Holy Spirit take control.
For those who's lost, I weep in despair and ask the Lord,
"Help me lead them back to You" - jasypants

Stand Firm

When you step out, there will be many walls
and many obstacles in your way
but with faith in Jesus, you become strong
so you can break those obstacles down
When light is with us, darkness will fall
when night time is over, it is day
God rejoices over you with a song
for gravity cannot beat His sound

When the enemies surround us
and it seems that there are no exits that we can take
I will believe,
because I know that your presence is always with me.
When the ground shakes to the point where
other people are not able to keep on standing
I will stand firm,
because I know that your presence is always with me.

I will take time to put everything down
and drink from the stream of life with joy
so I can stand in the battle field and
watch as the enemies run away
And as they run away, it shakes the ground
I will Praise the Lord with peace and joy
when He calls me, I will reach for his hand
Thank You will be the first thing I say

Gotta thank Seth & Lauren :]

ETERNAL

Still a victim of my own selfish scars
torn by the inhumane kindness out there
and behind it all, ‘twas really a farce
they leave me here begging, without a care
not a single word, nor a single sound
the people around laugh at my dismay
and each time I try to stand, I fall down
can only pray to see another day

my outside appeal could look broken
but inside, I’m eternal
the sound of my voice had been shaken
but inside, I’m eternal
nothing can compare to Him above
it’s because, He’s eternal
the revelation to my hunger
it’s because, He’s eternal
and because of Him, I am here now
I am eternally His.

I have found that someone who shoos away
the darkness and replaces it with light
He is the reason I live day by day
taking the blindness out of my sight
His presence always makes my body sway
and his love is making my heart take flight
It’s different from before, so hard to say
With His help, I am starting to ignite

The more I let go and let Him take control
the better my life will be, I am His.



I don't know if you guys noticed, but I always write my poems in a song format. I always have to erase "VERSE 1/2" and "CHORUS/BRIDGE" but its ok. I hope you enjoy this poem I wrote! :D

what a surprise

Today, a surprise guest came to visit my dad and i. Chris. My dad's old friend from nearly two decades ago. When I first saw him, I was thinking, "why is someone dressed like that here at our house?" since he looked like a cop. Ha. Far from it. When I saw him again, I realized it was Chris. When my dad asked me if I still remembered his name, I hesitated. I had a feeling it was Chris, but I wasn't sure about it. So, when I said Chris, it was in a question format. Chris nodded and I gave out this sigh saying, "Oh, thank God I remember" because I'd feel so embarrassed if I didn't remember.

"Danny would be so jealous if she found out I saw you today" - Chris

Danny is his daughter whom I've known for around 15 years, I believe. What fun we had back then. And now, they also have a son; 3 years old. How tenderly cute! So at the end, I told Chris to bring the fam fam next time he comes to visit. I can't wait.

"Danny drives now" - Chris
*I look at my dad like "hear that dad?"*

Fun.

Oh.
Someone who helped make HANCOCK is named Vincent Vy Ngo.
Do you know how scary that is?
There are way too many Vincents that are Vietnamese.
Let alone having my middle AND last name too.
Crazy.


♥ Jasy

Ame

Rain down
All around the world, we're singing
Rain down
Can you hear the Earth is singing?
Rain down
My heart is dry but still I'm singing
Let it rain
Let it rain
Open the floodgates of heaven
Let it rain


These two songs have been stuck in my head for two weeks.
If it rained, I would be in awe.

I had some gold dust on my hands today. God's presence was totally with Tiffa, Alice, and me. Praise God for the words of knowledge about Kim. You, our Father and King, have spoken through Your vessel and reached for Kim's heart, touching her with Your unfailing love. Happy tears fell today. :D)

♥ jasy

maidoari

i kill mailboxes (12:05:07 AM): ah, im old.
I am Japanesey (12:05:23 AM): ahaha
I am Japanesey (12:05:25 AM): what
i kill mailboxes (12:05:33 AM): T_T what do you think
I am Japanesey (12:05:45 AM): lol
I am Japanesey (12:05:54 AM): you're not old
i kill mailboxes (12:06:14 AM): for the past 5 minutes, i officially became 19
I am Japanesey (12:06:22 AM): shit
I am Japanesey (12:06:28 AM): that's today
I am Japanesey (12:06:28 AM): lol
I am Japanesey (12:06:33 AM): happy birthday
I am Japanesey (12:06:36 AM): don't feel old cuz
I am Japanesey (12:06:48 AM): being 19 is cool
- how time flies.

"maidoari" meaning "thank you as always" - kurosagi

maidoari, Jesus Christ. ♥ jasy

been thinking

I should do more for God when I get the chance. Wherever, whenever. "What happened to me?" was the question I found myself asking after Jack's sermon yesterday. I use to do a lot of things, but now I find myself doing nothing. It's time for me to get back out there, somehow; back on the road, back on my feet.

im going back

Starting next week, I'll be back at Church. I just hope none of you asks me why I stopped in the first place. I have to be honest, it was personal affairs. Thank You.

sore wa jodan jya NEE YO

happy 4th of july!!!!
God bless America! ... seriously.


so it was not a sakkaku (hallucination).
the roach was indeed real,
sore wa jodan jya NEEE~~yo!


sore ja, mada ashita, nee~
oyasumi-nasai, minna-sama!
♥ jasypants

TO: makotokun

happy birthday, noriyuki makoto-kun!!!
19 years old.
you are officially getting younger, my dear tomodachi.
God bless you!!!


seishun amigo by shuji to akira


english translation
My cellphone rings,
and a terrible premonition flashes through my heart
Calm down, mi amigo*

I’m in a mess, help me, those guys are chasing me
Maybe this is the end, mi amigo

My phone died, cutting me off from you

Si**, the two of us were always one,
at home we were invincible, weren’t we?
Si, we’d longed to come to this town for a long time
For some reason, I remember the scenery,
embracing the beautiful sky the day we left

When I reached a dark alleyway, you were crouching there
I’m sorry I didn’t get there in time

I can’t keep the promise we made the day it all came crashing down
But I’m so happy you came

You held my shaking hand tight

Si, when we came to this city
we felt like we could have anything we wanted
Si, we left our home behind
without looking back to pursue our big dream,
smiling the whole time
We dreamed that together we could
chase after a future that wouldn’t change

Si, the two of us were always one,
at home we were invincible, weren’t we?
Si, we’d longed to come to this town for a long time
For some reason, I remember the scenery,
embracing the beautiful sky the day we left


Now, it's my turn to turn 19 years old. xP
♥ jasy

natsu, ka?

atsui!!!!!




the ones who say that they are God, are only trying to be like satan

yume

While I was coming back from UCLA,
I saw people do the weirdest things while driving;
I'm just going to say, one of them picked their nose.
Another one was a lady brushing her hair,
while driving on the freeway. *nodds*

I finally went to cell group yesterday. yayy! (:
& had a very nice chat with our infamous Kazuki-kun.


Dream
This might not mean anything to any of you, but to me, it means a lot. After you read this, you might think that I'm overexaggerating or overthinking it, but answer the question at the end of it; think about it, kay? So my dream started with me wandering around someplace, my old middle school; Jefferson. I was on the field that they had there. I was looking around, at first confused at what I was suppose to do. Suddenly, I see Ka long, my supposedly best friend. She was walking with someone, laughing about something. I called out to her at least 10 times. She didn't even look at me once. The person she was with looked at me like "what the heck are you doing?" I didn't understand what was going on. I even went in front of them to stop her, but they walked around me. Ka long's face looked like she was trying to tell me that I did something wrong and that she's mad at me for it. For all of you reading out there, I haven't talked to her since December 2007; especially since the Christmas party. So it's been almost about half a year since I talked to her. If you guys know me well enough, my memory are either very sharp about things (certain things) or very vague. For this, it's very unclear. Meaning, I don't remember anything I did to make her mad at me. Allan and Wendy told me that they don't think that she's hiding from me, but it's like this dream is trying to tell me that she is. I'm not sure at the moment either. Also, she hasn't replied to my two emails and it's been about a week or so. So answer this question for me,



Am I exaggerating about this?
& What do you think this dream means?



♥ jasmine

new banner

happy birthday, annie.
o6.o7.08 happy birthday, jack.
newbanner; i'm sorry
g o m e n - n a s a i.


thanks to my dear itokochan that i can finally change the banner part. yes, i'm a noob when it comes to these things. but anyways, this banner was the original cover for my 01st story "I'm sorry" but I forgot to save it (this was during senior year of high school, so quite some time ago). I finally found it again around 45 minutes ago while searching for a banner for my page. I came across it and Thanked God for having it there. I had Darin, my trusty #1 best friend, to help me edit it so that it wouldn't look like I did it on paint. Darin has photoshop. Why don't I have it? I keep forgetting to ask people for it. I really should get one. I will. So I don't have to mooch off of Darin for the rest of my life. So I'll leave all you readers with this; enjoy the rest of your night.


♥ jasy

its all timing

2008 has not turned out as i planned, but it is all timing; God's timing. I just know it.
thank God for tribulations. i've been waiting for this ever since i came back to Christ. lol

im finally going to take journalism in the fall. hopefully, i'll like it. i'm going to put off english 1b until spring, probably. i'm going to take it with wendy and allan. and a reminder to those of you who might still be reading my blog; remind me never to take a saturday class, a monday class (not all the time), and a friday class (not all the time as well). esp a saturday class. i won't survive. if i'm not surviving now in my current saturday class, i won't ever. waking up at 7:30 am was not my goal during college and i doubt it will be for the rest of my life. i mean, i think it could be the teacher thats making it so hard for me to concentrate and come, because she's really... let's just say not the type to be teaching meee. i rather have either annie, johnny, andy, or steven teach me piano than her. is that too cruel to say? i don't think so. everyone is different, right?

there's a lot of things going on in my life at the moment. call me if you want. i won't mind. oh and for those of you who called me this past weekend, sorry i couldn't pick up. my phone was like away from me and i keep forgetting to check it like i usually do. i'm way too out of it nowadays. but i have it with me always now so go ahead and call. i'll pick up this time. haha..

i miss you guys. i really do. don't think that i don't. anyways... um.. what's the actual purpose of this entry? let me think. i guess you can say it's just a random entry, pouring out everything i am thinking about at this very moment. uhhh... let's talk about my new story, shall we?

it's going to be called, Mercy. yes. this whole story is based on irony. they might seem like coincidences, but i've thought this whole story through. later, i'll post the summary of it. i've finished writing the background of the characters for this story, major and minor. there will only be around 9 main characters and the rest are minor supporting characters. if you think that's a lot of main characters, then i'm sorry. my last story had more, so i think this is a more reduced "cast." i'm typing this entry in my school's library computer. so when i get home, i'll put the summary up. that'd probably be around 3pmish.

Summary: A young girl, faced with an incurable illness called Huntington’s disease, comes to her end in her 6th year since she has been diagnosed. In all her life, since the news, she had been watching others do certain routines in their daily lives. She didn’t understand how they could be so ignorant to the life around them. Certainly, they did not appreciate the people around them and the life that has been granted to them by God. Towards the beginning of her 6th year, almost ready to die, she conjures up a plan. She’s been observing the people around the neighborhood and a couple of them needs to make a decision, whether or not they deserve a second chance or third. The funny part is that they don’t even get one, except for one person; a boy with a severe brain tumor comes into her life and this is where she needs to decide if the thing she’s doing is right for the community or is it just for her own benefit. (Actual story takes place in the year 2008 from March – October).

God is good. I needed a ride home, and who might be next to me in the computer room than my good friend angel (no not an angel lols but close enough!) who has to go in an hour, but can leave earlier to drive me home? ..however my dad got out early so he took me home instead x____x i need to read the allegory of the cave by plato, watch the matrix and compare, copy notes from friday that i missed, do all of my homework assignments from piano before saturday, and print out my chapter 12 math stuff that isn't in the book. hmm... which one sounds better? open book w/ chitchats with our neighbors during on chapter 12 for our final exam or all of the review tests, no talking, and no open book for our final exam? this is sooo hard to decide.

www.nanisorejasypants.weebly.com
^ new post.

raiiiiny days are the best

this morning, i felt that i shouldn't drive home from school today.
then it rained.
i wore flip flops today. it was fun. disgustingly fun.
now, i am sure i'll get a good nights' sleep.
i love rainy days.



♥ jasmine


it's 10:30am and i had a good sleep. but now, i'm so very sleepy and tired.
i'm going to continue my story now on the school's computer.
i think i'm going to be sick. haha yay how fun.

crazy

last night, i saw a freakin' coackroach in my restroom. i had no one with me who was still awake at the time (1am) to save me. i think that explains a lot. it scared the beep outta me. it was HUGE! it's NOT FUNNY ALICE!!!!!! I'M WARNING YOU!! YOU LAUGH AND I'LL LIKE GO FIND A COACKROACH OUTSIDE AND SHOVE IT IN YOUR FACE AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT. *ahem* or not. hahahaha :P you know i love you hun. GOD PUT US TOGETHER FOR A REASON!! haha ... and no it's not for me to torment you or vice versa. ha. anyways! back to the story. i was watching it very closely and all of a sudden, it disappeared! at first i was like WHAT IN THE WORLD?! there was no actual opening where it was, but it seriously vanished! so ... after some thought, i narrowed down my conclusions.

1. i'm going crazy and i didn't really see a coackroach.
2. i did see one and God made it disappear because he knows (and everyone SHOULD KNOW) that I am so very scared of bugs/insects.
or
3. it died somewhere in that area. lmao ...which i think is kind of impossible. on the other hand, if it doesn't get food in some hours or so if it gets hungry, then it will die. muahahaha! oh man.

so. i still dont know the answer to this problem. but im glad i didnt see it this morning when i went in the restroom to take a shower. X_____X trust me it was hugeeee!!!!! T____T i was nearly crying. hahaha. um... so that's one story of my craziness. let's move on, shall we?

so. if you read Jack's blog and i KNOW you did because it's just totally fantastic. I WANT A HAL MUH NI! at least that's what I'd call her if she was Korean. If she was Japanese i'd call her Obasan, like Jack did. reading Jack's blog was like reading the book of acts! it was crazy! i loved it! i wish i was there! oh man. that annointing is like beyond the roof and sky. I WANT TRILLIPPPLEEE OF WHAT JACK HAS!!! don't you!? well. OF COURSE YOU DO! DON'T YOU DARE SAY NO! OR I'LL SMACK YOU. hahahah jk i won't smack you. I'll just let the Holy Spirit take control of you and take you on a ride! yeah, that's what i'd do. :D

I love my partner Alicegirl. She is one spantaneous chick! I loves it! Go read her blog everyone! She's following where God is. ^_^ Alice and I talked from like 9 something to 11 something. TWO HOURS OF TALKING PEOPLE. and like we were discussing about Saturday. So here's what's going down. Saturday, Alice and I are having a movie day at my place. We'll be watching Amazing Grace and Evan Almighty. They'll be snacks included and a guest; my cousin. If you have the movie and you haven't watched it, what better way to watch it then to watch it with your sistas?! am i right!? it'll be really fun!! hopefully. hahaha but we ALWAYS have such fun when we're in God's presence. even if we're just watching a movie or two, it doesn't mean that it won't be something that's not related to God. Plus, God's presence will be there! I know it! If you hunger for His presence every day and every minute of your life, He will be there.

Which reminds me, I wrote another poem. =] "Ark Builder" -- which also reminds me that i need to add poems to the other site. all the old poems and new ones that i've written. been so lazy that i nearly forgot. THANK YOU GOD FOR REMINDING ME! He is so good. Amen? :) Picking up my cousin in a couple of hours. I can't wait. I haven't seen her since new years. 4 months. and it's funny cause she's craving for some vietnamese food too. hahaha. i don't blame her. UCLA wouldn't have that kinda good tasting food. xP as for me, i wouldn't really crave for it because i have it everyday. hahaha bummer. =] that's why you always hear me wanting some other kind of food and whenever you ask me about pho or eggrolls i'm like ughhhh. hahah. ANYWAYS! i need to continue thinking up background stories for my new story's characters. there's a total of 15 characters (most is in the actual storyline, a few are already deceased) and i've only done three.


p.s. darin wrote 3 chapters in one day, 25 pages. he is a win. HA.
♥ jas

lots have happened lately

took the exam, but apparently, i didn't try hard enough. i cant believe that i missed church for it when in the end, i didn't do that well. but its ok! Praise God for a reality check. i really have to get my geer up. ever since friday, i've decided to fast more, not skip a class a lot, study and not wait until the last minute like i usually do (x_x), and practice the piano more. i realized that the semester is ending soon (5 weeks) and i need at least 18 hours. i don't even think i have 5. crap. i have so much things to do and piano, to be honest, isnt my first choice of things to do.

haha! it was Mother's day! just plain lovely-doo. today was actually a good day. however, my dad did rush and push me to do my financial aid stuff. yes i know. i was lazy. literally. andddd, i kept forgetting to do it. v_v it's a pain in the arsh, if you asked me. but THANK GOD I found what I was confused on when I relooked at it. so i'll be continuing that tomorrow night. im tired. also, just finished EVAN ALMIGHTY. good movie. NOAH'S ARK.

ARK = an ACT of RANDOM KINDNESS at a time.

"i am going into adult puberty!"
"we are hamsters!"
- steve carrell; evan baxtor & his children (for the second line)
so cute.
that. was. brilliant. hahaha. i didn't even realize that the first time i watched it. i do so love that story. if you haven't watched this movie, go watch it. steve carrell does a magnificent job of playing the main role. and i also noticed that morgan freeman always plays the character "God" in these kinds of movies. i have three in my memory, only two i remember the name. the first and second one is Bruce Almighty & Evan Almighty. unlesss... i didn't count evan almighty, then.... i'll have to look it up later.

i am... deprived of sleep. it's like my sickness, i suppose. sleep.
oh & today's session was brilliant. GOD IS SOOOOO GOOOD YO!!!

takeALLOFME*hillsongunited
i loveeee You
all of my hope.. is in You
Jesus Christ, take my life;
take all of meee
- - - - - - - - - - - -
thereisNONElikeYOU*hillsong
there is none like You,
no one else could touch my heart like You do
i could search for all eternity Lord
and find, there is none like You

MAY 12 2008 - MAY 23 2008
NO CHIPS & CHOCOLATE FOR MEEEE.

♥ jasmine

stairway to....

the ground. the temperature of this concrete staggers between 45 to 55 degrees. the once delightful colors of its paint had been scrubbed away by the many feet that walk upon it. and there are always times where instead of the feet, it'll be the body of a person, crushing it without actually hurting its lifeless surface. and thats how it came to be for me today. i fell off the stairs. fun stuff. i never experienced that in all my life. i was holding a snapple bottle, the new ones, unbreakable. "safety for kids" as a friend of mine says it. as i fell, i heard the bottle crash onto the floor and without any doubt, it did not break. the first thing i said when the two friends i was with asked me if i was okay was, "ah ha! look! it didnt break!" is that a normal thing? my right big toe kind of hurted afterwards, but i survived and managed the pain. it does not hurt anymore. also, when i was meeting up with a friend before class, i almost tripped on the floor. today is also the first day of may. i dont know whats going on.


i think somethings wrong with me. or not.
i shared to a friend my testimonies of how God touched me.
♥ jasmine

more of Ezekiel

Ezekiel 7:10-14
10 "The day is here! It has come! Doom has burst forth, the rod has budded, arrogance has blossomed! 11 Violence has grown into [b] a rod to punish wickedness; none of the people will be left, none of that crowd—no wealth, nothing of value. 12 The time has come, the day has arrived. Let not the buyer rejoice nor the seller grieve, for wrath is upon the whole crowd. 13 The seller will not recover the land he has sold as long as both of them live, for the vision concerning the whole crowd will not be reversed. Because of their sins, not one of them will preserve his life. 14 Though they blow the trumpet and get everything ready, no one will go into battle, for my wrath is upon the whole crowd.
Ezekiel 7:19-20
19 They will throw their silver into the streets, and their gold will be an unclean thing. Their silver and gold will not be able to save them in the day of the LORD's wrath. They will not satisfy their hunger or fill their stomachs with it, for it has made them stumble into sin. 20 They were proud of their beautiful jewelry and used it to make their detestable idols and vile images. Therefore I will turn these into an unclean thing for them.


I just cant get enough of this book. alice & i are having so much fun doing bible study. :-)
God is just so poetic in the first couple of verses. it makes it worthwhile to read the bible.
the second set of verses reminds me that you know what?
when God comes back, money is not gonna matter; not ipods, not cell phones; nothing

"do you think i can say, 'meow' to God & He'll laugh?" - me
"well yeah, He has a great sense of humor" - alicegirl

♥ me :-)

Burn for Healing!

we prayed for this guy in a wheelchair after watching expelled on saturday night. during the praying, i didn't give a care in the world who was watching us. i was asking God to heal this man that night. that didn't happen, buttt. something did happen though. i felt God's presence there with us while we prayed. my heart started to ache so badly because of the love. God's heart was burning because we took a piece of our time to pray for a stranger in public. i started to say, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!" oh man. that was amazing. laura, the man's wife, came over after some time because she was tryna find him and prayed with us. keep them in your prayers. i don't remember the guy's name though so you can ask johnny or eric. yea.. God bless them. may their faith grow stronger through this experience! come on now people! the man said that he felt this warm feeling in his legs! or at least that's what i remember. Praise God.

i saw a blue jay up close today and it didn't fly away from me. (=

http://www.nanisorejasypants.weebly.com/
^ new entry, finally.


As I gaze into your eyes, all of my troubles fade away.
As if you haven't done enough, your last impressions make my heart sway.


Ezekiel 2:9-10
9 Then I looked, and I saw a hand stretched out to me. In it was a scroll, 10 which he unrolled before me. On both sides of it were written words of lament and mourning and woe.
Ezekiel 3:1-3
1 And he said to me, "Son of man, eat what is before you, eat this scroll; then go and speak to the house of Israel." 2 So I opened my mouth, and he gave me the scroll to eat.
3 Then he said to me, "Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it." So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.
Ezekiel 3:5-7
5 You are not being sent to a people of obscure speech and difficult language, but to the house of Israel- 6 not to many peoples of obscure speech and difficult language, whose words you cannot understand. Surely if I had sent you to them, they would have listened to you. 7 But the house of Israel is not willing to listen to you because they are not willing to listen to me, for the whole house of Israel is hardened and obstinate.
Ezekiel 3:12-23
(too long) lol :]
Ezekiel 4:5-6
5 I have assigned you the same number of days as the years of their sin. So for 390 days you will bear the sin of the house of Israel. 6 "After you have finished this, lie down again, this time on your right side, and bear the sin of the house of Judah. I have assigned you 40 days, a day for each year.

boardmeeting (dont ask)

http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F50A12F73C59127A93C3A9178DD85F4D8585F9

I have tons of time on my hands, unfortunately. and this is what i found while i am doing a paper, reading your blogs, and coughing until i can't breathe. yes. this is getting so ridiculous. they are going to ..... i can't even say it. we need to pray hard for this world.

for those of you who know Rudolph (or RJ), i saw him today and got his number. let's see if we can all get together at pasadena college and start something; maybe even a revival. im excited. im starting to get super motivated to meet up. i think im actually going to buy boards soon and hopefully have enough markers and stuff to fill it up nicely with stuff like, "can i pray for you?" and "free hugs" and such so i can bring it to school sometime and just hold it up. if you wanna join me, just talk to me about it. comment me here, text me, call me, msn me, aim me.

joy, when was the meeting that you asked me if i wanted to go with you? i hope it's not when i have class. x_x that'd suck. i only got out early today because i had a paper to write which i did not intend on doing this past weekend because i was so lazy. i think the laziness is gone now. im happy about that.

so i finished three seasons of the office and that stuff is hilarious. i loved it. gonna start season four some time this week hopefully. if not, next week most definitely. ok i go do paper now. bye bye! oh and i got a C in Chemistry 2A. nice huh? x) im so happy about that.

♥ jasmine
p.s. i miss my grandma.

Rev. 11:6-7

today was a totally different kind of service. after a little worship, jack said that he wasn't going to say much. but instead, we're gonna go out and evangelize. when jack told me before service, i was soooo excited about it. i couldnt wait to get out there and do it. jack told me to go with alice, even though i think i was suppose to go with jennifer. i dont remember. funny that i didnt obey jack and yet i did. hahaha. anyways.. alice, jay, irene, sam, and i got grouped together and the place we were assigned to was arcadia high school.

i was a bit surprised to see that there were people at school on a sunday. i thought to myself, "why are they here?" i mean.. not the whole athletic part of the school, but the other side of the school. but then again, they could have came for the game which i think they were practicing at the time we were there so it kind of makes sense. so as jay shared earlier today, the health office (me), the grass area (alice), and the cafe (jay), were right next to each other. it kinda made a V or a triangle. but anyway.. alice and jay shared today and i thought i would share but for some reason i just felt like blogging it instead. i never really liked speaking in front of a lot of people. it freaks me out.

i got revelations chapter 11 verse 6-7.
"These men have power to shut up the sky so that it will not rain during the time they are prophesying; and they have power to turn the waters into blood and to strike the earth with every kind of plague as often as they want. Now when they have finished their testimony, the beast that comes up from the Abyss will attack them, and overpower and kill them." - Rev. 11:6-7.

"ohh thats heavy" - jennifer. hahaha you can say that again. x_x

i wanna go back to rb

this world is not what it use to be. as i observe the surroundings many times a day, it looks unfamiliar now. the people, the scenery, the weather, and even the sound of the wind blowing into my face is all foreign. its like im living on a new planet and the people there are still the same, but somehow, they're just totally different and deformed in many ways. the people here, their world still revolves around the immaturity of their old lives, where fun was something they couldnt live without. i look at the people that i use to know and i cannot understand their so called language anymore. what they say, what they do, what is the meaning of those actions? or is there no meaning whatsoever? i see all the pollution of the modern day technology and it gives me this sense of incapability. its like i dont belong here in the world we know. i belong somewhere else. i belong with God. i belong with people who is in the same world as i am in. i belong with my rb crew. and even sometimes i feel like i dont belong with my church friends. its not that they dont give me this sense of belonging, but its just that when im with them, i have this limitation of what i can do, which is weird because its suppose to be different, i assume. yes, they tell me, "you can do anything you want," but it just doesnt seem that way to me. but when im with my rb crew, i really can do whatever i want. God's the same way. when i am with Him, i can do whatever i want (trust me, nothing bad) and He'll be there, just to be with me. maybe its that satisfaction that jack always talks about. that we always need something more. or it could be totally different. i dont need anything more other than God Himself. i just need to be with the people i feel most compatible with, people i feel safe with, no matter how unsafe they could be. and yes that is scary at times. i trust my church friends, dont get me wrong, but it's too safe. haha.. what's life without risks? i use to hear that all the time and i never got it. i've always wanted to be safe at all times, but as i grew up, i realized that everything is dangerous so it really shook me. its easy to say that you love something and yet its hard to say that too. i can easily say how much i love God, my church friends, and my rb crew, but it's harder to say it when im with my church friends more than my rb crew. why is that? i dunno if any of this makes any sense to any of you, but like all of us, or most, we have mixed feelings from time to time and it's just one of those things where you cant really explain, not because you dont know the reason really but its because it's just too complicated to say in words. some might say that thats never the case, i say HA! there are times when i really cannot describe something. or else i would. right? i've gotten to the point where i had to really think about who are the people in my life that make me and my heart feel free.


God & darin.
im in looooove.
& my head hurts.

rb crew

so yesterday, angel, april, and i went to redondo beach around night time after a full day of different places. ive got to say this spring break is the best ive ever had in my life. i want to thank angel for driving us and thank God that her gas did not run out. by the time we got home, it was nearly half full. half of the gas that we lost were due to U turns xD ah, fun. i also want to thank april for coming with us because i havent seen her in two months and we couldnt even hang at school. happy early birthday to you girllll. (:

i would have a picture of the rb crew, butttt we totally forgot about it. not all of them were there last night so next time. i promise i'll have a picture of them for you guys. they are like the best. hahaha the men in my life. -.- they're so lame and gay that i love them sooo deeply much. haha.. there's darin, the infamous best friend, tin, the quiet not so quiet anymore viet "brotha" of mine (we tight, yo!) and who also had a class to go to but came anyway (thank you!!), JEESUM evan, the guy who hasn't been in our lives for nearly a year cause of a "shark" (oh yes i believe you man dont worry hahahah), danny, the "hi i am danny" songwriter (you have GOT to hear it; i'll put it up somehow), and rikio, the person who ALWAYS messes with darin >[ (you will pay because im going to bring my scissors next time!). now, for the people who didnt get to come. MIKEY, the nerd and my pre-"friend" (as we impact people call it "friend" of so and so) who had a calc midterm, was it? to study for. God bless his motivation and brains. haha.. i really did want him to come though :( but i did get to see him! hahaha in his pjs. PUAHA.. love your pj's man. they're sooo....you. the kidnap didnt go so well. *cough danny and rikio cough* and there was german, who had a class and couldn't make it. i guess he's the schoolboy when it comes to him and tin. i believe they were in the same class. hahahah. those dorks. n_n

AHHHH I LOVE THEM.

my promise was met. i came. it was fun. and i miss them now. hahaha. angel and april thought they were cool too. dude they were freaking hilarious last night. probably cause rikio and danny were there. but without mike and german, it's just so normal. hahaha.. OH YA! tin ate this HUGE plate of roasted chicken i think, fries, and a piece of a cake. BUT IT WAS A LOT. when tin's plate came, darin was like poking me and i didnt know what he was doing. i asked him, "what?" and he's like pointing at tin's plate and i was like ".....omg" hahhaha angel and april were totally amazed and shocked by how much tin ate. but it was typical since he didnt eat ANYTHING the whole day. hahahaha

"how was dinner?" - anyone
"i wanna throw up" - tin

thats what tin actually said after darin was talking about it. "what would be the typical answer if we asked tin how was dinner was for tin to say that he'd wanna throw up" hahaha and he did say it. im still surprised that tin speaks more now than before. awww :) allow me to say how much i love them again. LOL

nicknames
darin - makotokun or dear
tin - TINNY!
evan - JEESUM
danny - not available atm
rikio - japychan (not exactly lol)
mike - MIKEY or jellyfish xP
german - not available atm


p.s. dont ever let danny drive your car & he said, "i thought you were taller! your pictures made me think you were taller"

whisper of...

"Even though I can't see it, I can feel it. Like the wind, you're beautiful without me. I become reminded of you, just with the word beautiful... When I feel tears are about to fall, I lie on the sand, And look up at the sky about me. Somehow the clouds take away my worries, Helping me answer my own questions. I'm here for you. I'm thankful for being able to do everything for you..." - dong bang shin ki's "whisper of..."

korean translation: Boiji anhado nukkil so isso baramchorom nul na obshin arumdaumdo gujo arumdabdanun dano sogesoman to ollassulgoya gakkum uljoghal temyon more wie nuwo ne nundongjae damgyojidon hanul todaninun gurumi sogsagidud gonnejuodon jaggo khun gomindul ijen al god gatha naui nol nol wihe hal su inun modungod gujo gomawo


sounds better in korean, trust me. lol


p.s. www.nanisorejasypants.weebly.com is updated! :] (only the movies to watch part)

Swani

Dear Heavenly Father, I just thank You for Swani, Lord. She has this chronic disease called endometriosis and its already at stage 4 which is pretty bad. Lord, I pray for Your Kingdom to fall upon her whole body, especially her abdominopelvic area so that the pain of it, the tissues there that are causing this agonizing pain, and the whole entire disease that she has to pass away because Lord, in Your Kingdom, there is no such thing as diseases or pains. Let Your Kingdom fall upon her, reign down upon her whole body and cleanse it with Your Holy Spirit, Your mercy, and Love. In Your name, Jesus, I command Your Kingdom to fall, I command for this disease to fade away. Lord, I pray that when Swani goes to the doctor's for a check up, the doctors will be terrifiedly amazed because You healed her Lord and just as I say this prayer, You are healing her right this instant! Lord, we thank You. Your love and mercy is unfailing, it goes beyond the universe. We praise Your name. Lord, bring comfort, awareness, and joy into Swani's heart so that she may love You with all of it. I'm not praying this prayer to raise up more testimonies. I'm praying this prayer because Swani is a good friend of mine and I do not want to see her this way. She hasn't even known You personally yet. Through this experience, let her know how much You love her. You've given me another chance, a test maybe, to show You how much love I have for the people around me because I regret and feel guilty for not praying for my dad three years ago. I appreciate this and I am taking this opportunity to cry out to You, asking You to heal Swani. I'm not asking this out of sheer satisfaction of my desires for being "good," I'm asking because this person isn't saved yet and I want her to see Your love more clearly than she has ever did. I'm asking You to simply manifest her heart into Your hands and wrap her around Your wings of love and protect her with the blood You shed to wash away all her sins. In Your name, I pray, Amen. <3

Swani Poo: aww thank you


http://www.wdxcyber.com/dxppn012.htm -- what it is.

not miserable anymore. sick, but happy. redondo, here i come! ♥

hmph

things have been busy lately & i must stick to my plans.
whom i make plans with first, stays that way. i hope you can understand that.


dont patronize me.
my heart (i) will explode.
tired of being a nice jasmine.
when the time comes, you'll see a different person.
i dont know how it'll be.
everyone is against me again.
rude tones, selfish comments, & people who ignore me.
can this world ever be... ha. no. thats a stupid question.
this world can never be better. they need Jesus.
its become so obvious.
im being negative again. ughhh.


im miserable.
dont know when i can openly say how much i love everyone. you guys make it so hard for those words to slip out of my mouth when it seems so easy to say. esp with guys. they'd take it another way. thats why not much information gets to someone from another. its like a barrier of low self-esteem or immatureness or something else. there's a whole list. but of course. i can easily say how much i love Jesus because He loves me. you guys don't need to tell me every time you see me that He loves me because I know. i just wish you guys can be more considerate like Jesus is. im learning more and more about each of my friends. how they really are sometimes. its fascinating. its also very heartbreaking. reality really sucks us dry doesnt it? i doubt anyone can go on with a conversation without asking about school, majors, classes, grades, etc. it's just one of those things where it's the first and last choice to talk about it. why is that? why is it so easy to talk about those things than talking about Jesus? srsly. i rather talk about Jesus! as a matter of fact, i loooove talking about Jesus. school and those things, not so much. if you havent noticed already, i try not to talk about it. the only time i'll talk about it is when i know you are so intrigued with your passion whether its writing, the arts of many kinds, photography, economics, real estate, or architecture. if you're intrigued, its a good thing. if you're intrigued, you'd be happy to talk about it. if i asked you something thats about something dreadful to you, wouldn't that conversation go down hill? its a depressing thought. and it seems that most of us, nearly all, bring that kind of stuff up in a conversation right away. find out what that someone likes first. dont jump ahead to the typical questions. its boring, dramatic, and depressing. at least... its for the people i talk to and myself included. i also come across optimistic people who see it in a different sense. good for you. thats a good thing too. im glad you're that way... and now i forgot my train of thought. oh wells. wow. i didnt even mean for this to go into depth. just wanted to get some things out. man this doesnt even satisfy what i truly wanted to say in my heart. x_x how sad is that? i think im going to be miserable for my entire life if i keep doing dental hygiene but no one cares. i mean i know that God cares and i need to pray. pray pray pray. im so restless. it hurts and i wanna cry. ahhh and its not even stress at the moment either! cussing wont help but i feel like i want to but i cant. V____V all this frustrration bottling up isnt good. but no one is around to hear me scream. i want to scream. i want to go to a place where its all distant and quiet and just scream my lungs out. somewhere no one can find me. a secret place that only God and i know of. and where is that? i have no clue. sorry `bout this entry.

God, i want my joyfulness back.



lost of interest in things.
jasmine.

Peace

I had a dream. In the dream, Jesus did the peace sign to me.



-- will upload picture later.

Get Simple :)

yesterday during the evening session's worship, God just put like a vision in my heart that Radical Jam will be as big as Hillsong and probably even more. It'll move nations and touch people's hearts. When He told me this I was like nearly in tears because I was sooo happy for them. I saw them on a stage playing their own songs and millions and millions of people around. It was just totally awesome! :D LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.


I was playing tennis with Jesus. We played for a while but then I got tired. Jesus was holding the racket, bouncing the ball up and down. He said to me, "Oh, come on Jasmine! Play with me some more!" I was like, "But I'm so tired now Jesus. I can't." He chuckled a bit and said, "Yes you can! Come on!" and right there and then, I had this energy to play. x) My earth father had always wanted me to play tennis because I had a good arm and earlier, Annie said to me, "Oh so He was symbolizing your dad!" Interesting... anyway, when I got home, I was in the restroom. After I washed my face, I said to Jesus, "Let's play tennis again sometime!" xD


There was this black forest with like purple leaves at the top. God asked me, "Are you willing to go through troubles (meaning the pitch-black forest) to get to me?" I stood there for a moment thinking. I probably didn't explain this very well because I was nervous. If you know me, I get so nervous speaking in front of more than 5 people. So I was standing there for like a minute and I looked up and said, "I will." So as I was walking through the forest, it was scary because it was all black, but at the same time, I had confidence to just get through this and get to God even faster. I probably said some other things, but.... ehhh.


Let's get simple.
I'm gonna miss Debbie and Mark soooo much!!
Today was spectacular. Fun fun fun.
So many testimonies. So much encouragement.
I have a longing for You, Jesus!!! Come! More, Lord, more!!!
Would You satisfy my heart today?

I still have to study for anatomy, do the rest of my math homework, and revise my essay.
That sounds like soooo much fun right? AHHH GOD TAKE IT ALL.


<3jasypants.

Saturday's Fun

"Don't touch my lints!" - Jasmine
"Do not focus on the grapes!" - Momo

I have got to tell you that saturday was sooo much fun. First of all though, as for my piano test, it went really well. I didn't pray about it but I did so well. My teacher didn't say anything about it. All she said was "ohh good" and we moved on. That was just the brightness of my day. So far at that point of course.

Funny. I wasn't sure that Alice was going to come so early. She came really really and reminded me that we had to prepare for Pricella's (sp?) birthday party we're throwing her. So when we were walking to like Albertsons and stuff, we were talking about lints. If you know me really well, even the tiniest things could annoy me. like lints. haaa. monay had some on her jacket so i was trying to take them off but there was one that i couldnt get off. and monay started telling us this story. im not sure but i think it was a story. so then after that story, i started saying out of no where "don't touch my lints!" but only the three of us gets it so for those of you who dont, its ok! :D

anyways. skipping ahead. the party sorta started! :D we worshipped and stuff and alice finally got us to sit down and we started the soaking thing. it was totally nice. alice's voice got in the way of some of our visions from God, but it's ok. we still love her. mine started off with this machine looking thing (i have no clue whats it called) and then it paused and skipped to a man and his son with a pink balloon. i asked God what those two have in common but he hasn't answered me so i'm still in the process of praying about it. then there was a long pause and this pale blue-ish man appeared in my vision and he kinda like opened up his mouth and his eyes were pitch black. his mouth and eyes were pitch black but it had a shiny area in it too. it pretty much freaked me out. and suddenly, this is sorta funny, but um... alice's voice interrupted again and THAT freaked me out A LOT. because it was out of no where and it was like a whisper. v___v my body actually like... you know when someone scares you and you kinda jolted? AHHH thats the word! jolted! yes my body actually jolted. *sighhh...

so as it went on this feeling from God that kept telling me to say "you're beautiful" to alice but everytime it gets stronger i couldnt find a right time to say it. so then we gathered around in a circle and alice asked us to pray for the person next to us, possibly prophesizing over them. the two people who were next to me were alice and stacey. alice was on my right and stacey was on my left.

this is what i got for alice: (most of my memory has faded away so i dont remember it quite well. forgive me please-this is going to be vague) She's going to inspire many. basically. ha. (alice! if you remember what i said then PLEASE tell me or put it in your blog! thank youuu sweetie!) and obviously the fact that alice is beautiful.

what stacey got for me: God has more things planned for me in my life. I had wings and that its opening A feather everyday. (ahhh x8) I was flying with Jesus! EEEEE~~~ I think you should ask Stacey if I missed anything because I have a feeling that I did. haaa. I'll re-edit this when i find out more.

so after that we continued with our veggie/fruits feast. played freeze again. stephanie, you're an awesome actress. seriously. so funny! so after all that people started to leave. johnny, abby, and eric came for wave and so sarah, alice, monay, and i decided to stay and join them. we basically had nothing else to do ya know? x) johnny wrote it on his blog so you can read it there. but um.. personally though, i got something from it. two things actually. one was personal and the other one was basically for either just Momo or everyone there. but i believe it was for everyone there.


1st thing i got: there was a small ruby and God held it in His big hands, looked at it really closely and kept on saying "you are sooo wonderful!!" over and over again. ^___^ HE LOVES YOU!

2nd thing i got: personal, but whatever its in the past. last year (2007) i always felt this burden, this pain (because of a few things) and like it came back during the soaking. I asked God why I was feeling that way because He basically is taking care of my heart at the moment, protecting it from everything that's a distraction. that was basically my new years resolution. the main one at least. and so God said to me, to my heart is more like it, "I wanted to remind you of the pain that caused me to take your heart in my hands and protect it from all of those distractions you had. to remind you of how you will not ever have to feel this way again because im here for you. i just wanted to remind you of this pain that so you'll know how to decide things, and know how to avoid it." i was like "awww God *love love love*"

God is just so romantic. I love Him sooo much.


today's service was totally moving. it was really interesting how um... we sang EVERY song i LIKE. im totally serious. they also played the song i've been thinking about but i didn't remember the name. was it "a little longer"? T_T JOHNNY PLEASE TELL ME. it's the one that um.. "and i.. cant thank you enough" or something like that. ughhhh! this is sooo buggy.

oka so anyway tomorrow Shin, Monay, Tiffa, May, Stephanie, Jennifer (too?), Steven, and I are planning to go to the abortion center and do that again. pray for us! :D if you wanna join it's going to be at 11am. call Shin for more information.

Anchor of Remembrance

It’s been so long I forget,
what love really can feel like.
I continue to search for,
that reassurance of love.

I feel like I’m wasting my time,
wandering around so helplessly.
I keep asking the same questions ,
“isn’t there anyone who cares for me?”

but no ones around
no ones around to hear me cry out
and there was no one around to see
the bond between You and me

You are the anchor of remembrance
the everlasting light that took away my darkness
the medicine that came and rescued me from pain
You are the anchor of remembrance
I can remember the past memories of this love
for me, You poured out Your blood and died with love
in Your heart.
- by jasypants -


im back! it's been... 4 months since i wrote anything.
i hope you enjoy! ♥ jasmine

Japanese Christian :O

You know how there are only about 2 percent of the Japanese people that are Christians?
well... one of my biology classmates from fall semester and i saw each other today after so long.
at first i like seriously forgot her name. (i felt so bad) but we kept talking...
i shared about so many things such as my writing, and what i wanted to start doing at pcc.
of course, to be nice and polite, i asked her questions about what she'd like to do as a career and other things. we talked for a really long time.
i finally decided to ask her if she was a Christian. she said "yes ....aaaaand no."
her explanation later just made it seem like yea she is a christian. ha. shes so funny.
well... what her group does is basically talk about what God's plan for Jesus' coming down and dying for us is. and i shared about what Jack told us a couple of weeks ago. while i was saying it, she was like "yea!" i was like totally in "hamate" (hahahaha) while i was talking to her.
then the whole dread of forgetting her name came in mind when i asked her what her number was. surprisingly she remembered mine. oh darn. hahah uh oh right? xD but she was cool with it.
we exchanged numbers and i realized that shes gonna be late to class. her name is Sakiko Muranaka. COOL RIGHT? hahaha... i mean talking about meeting a JAPANESE CHRISTIAN!
not even my best friend Darin is Christian. at least not yet ;] so. she told me that um... they were planning to have (they as in her group; forgot what it was called) this thing called "prayer of peace" and i was sooo totally into it. im planning on joining them. i then told her that i wanted to hold up signs like how Johnny and Jennifer did at their schools saying "Can i pray for you?"
she thought it was a really good idea too and since she was kinda late, i gave her IMPACT's card.
we decided to call each other up later on this week and talk more. we hugged and we rushed off to whatever we had planned. *_*


today was awesome. but. i bombed my anatomy exam. v____v



♥ jasmine

p.s. i gave her my link to my story. haaa. i hope she likes it. n____n
pp.s. i actually like reading johnny's blogs. ha.

HI.BYE.

went to the abortion clinic today to join shin and alice. it was funny because when my friend was driving me there, i suddenly saw a girl who looked like alice. i tried to call her but no one answered. so my friend turned around because she was like, "oh we passed it" so we turned around. i saw shin and waved and realized that it was alice on the other side of the street. i started laughing at myself. silly me. and "SO SHE DOES HAVE SPRING BREAK THIS WEEK!" -.-ll

anyway today was just totally awesome. i asked God when we were driving to the clinic to just have mercy on us, to protect us from harm, and other things like boldness. He answered of course! there were sooooo many things that happened. at first it was kind of slow and one of the other ladies came out and was trying to prove that their clinic is 97% doing this and that and the other 3% is abortion. i dont really remember that part well because sarah was the one really talking to her. after she left, sarah told me that she was the one that kicked them off of their property.

alice talked about stephanie and porqui so you can read that. it was amazing. she was just so nice and optimistic. we prayed for her wrist. the first time it was because it was hurting. the second time was that she couldn't move it from right to left so we prayed for her again. afterwards, she was like, "oh my gosh! it doesnt hurt anymore!" and her "baby" (if you were there you'd know what i mean) asked her if she was telling the truth, if she was forreal. and she nodded and said, "YEAH!" PRAISE GOD! she said that she was going to exercise her wrist so that it'll fully recover. oh man. God, bless her and porqui. may You give them all Your treasures and love. may they seek after You even more and learn to love and hunger after You. Amen.

well sarah, bryan, karen, ruth, and alice left because they had to go somewhere and alice was very exhausted. GO ALICE! YOU ARE A FIGHTING WARRIOR GODCHICK. wow. such a long name. xD anyway! shin and i were the only ones there now and so i went to the other side of the street holding up the sign that says "inside you is a miracle of life." it was getting pretty hot and standing isnt something i love to do. i admire shin. she stood like 98% of the time. according to alice's blog and my time with her. she's a superwoman! i dont think i could ever do that... now. maybe a while ago, but yea. hehe.

so after an hour or so i called shin from across the street and asked her if she wanted to switch places with me. she said sure so we switched places. it was kind of funny cause we both accidently dropped our phones randomly. but thats not the point. ha sorry. going off topic. so after some time, shin was about to come back to our original side of the street and this lady in a blue car came over. at first i was a bit scared not knowing what she'd say. but then she said hi and i responded with hi as well and she continued saying "i just want to say congrats on doing this. i feel so encouraged when i saw you girls doing this because God told me about a year ago to do this but i didnt do it. i know that God is going to bless you girls a lot so keep this up." i was like :O haaa. i kept saying thank you to her and saying God bless you. i was totally speechless. didn't know what else to say to her. i was amazed. i regret not saying this to her though: "God has everything planned out." but T_T oh well.

that gave me such an encouragement.

then this guy (it was before she came) who walked by and said hi to me. i was about to say hi back but then he said bye right after. i was like "uhh.... ok God bless you" but by that time i think he was gone. oh and when shin was back at our original location, she was tired so she sat on the sidewalk. after some time a bus came and couldnt actually park because she was sitting there. shin didnt know cause the board was blocking her view and the bus driver was telling me to tell her to not sit there. so i called shin and told her to stand up. a lady was nearby and told her that the driver wanted to speak to her. i think she told shin to not sit there because buses come here and such. then the bus driver closed the door and moved a little more. shin and i were still holding up the signs. the bus driver opened the door again and said "but i really do like your signs" ahhhh! :)

oh. there was one discouragement, but everything good that happened today i would say overcomes that. it was towards the beginning, when i first got there. i was passing out the flyers. so i stood there for some time until a lady came and i handed her one but she said no thanks. so i was like oh ok God bless you! a little while later she came over again and said "you know what i think i will get one" so i was excited. (shouldnt have been though) she then said "can i have a few more for a couple of my friends" (what a lie) and i stupidly said "sure how many would you like?" (being the nice jasmine i am to strangers when doing this kind of thing) and she (pretended to) counted in her head and fingers. then said four. i gave her three more flyers. (like i said...) she said thanks and walked away. i was looking at another direction when i turned to look at her again. i saw her near a trashcan and i was like thinking "oh shoot. she better not have..... she probably did.... no. dont think that. she couldnt be that mean could she?" so i kind of like brushed it off. when we all met again in our little group, i told sarah about it and alice said "yea she tore it and threw it into the trashcan." -.-ll oh gosh. i was like T_T nuuu the poor expensive flyers!

130 dollars. according to shin. she printed out 100 of them. so they could have been about... 1 dollar and some cents i assume. so times that with four will give you around... im not good with math but yea! you get the idea right? ahhh. my heart sank and i just quickly said with a loving heart, "Lord, I just pray that You bless her day. open her heart and make it sway into Your direction. Amen." i also heard that she was the lady that johnny pissed off. -.-ll ahahah and i heard what johnny did. he's so awesomely crazy! i want to see that happen again! johnny! bring me next time!


next time. use the laptop.

:)jasminengo.