Disappear

I am tired.
So please excuse my language tonight.

I am tired.
Tired of all the shit I've been through.
I know this is an unfair world,
know that God is always there & he loves me,
but you don't have to tell me that every single moment of the day.
Don't you know my heart knows that?
It's so annoying when someone keeps saying it to me,
not considering the fact that I freaking know.

Be honest, huh?
Be myself, huh?
I am.
I will be.
In this blog.

I am tired.
My hearts tired.
My body's tired.
But.. the good part is...
my spirit is still on fire.
YAY.

I'm not confronting anyone. I am not blaming anyone for my fatigue. I just don't want to go on like this anymore. I am not talking about anyone you'll ever know. Don't be conceited. Ask, before you assume. That's my advice to everyone. That's how drama gets sturred up. People assume things & it gets bigger. I beepin' hate drama. Earlier today, I said I cannot hate anyone. But that doesn't mean I don't feel the hate. The feeling of hatred comes & goes in my life. When I say I hate someone, it doesn't give me joy or sorrow or anger. It's a bland feeling from my point of view. So I don't hate someone, I just feel hatred from the causes, decisions, behaviors, and results. This might not make any sense to you, but I don't care. If anyone that can understand, it's God. That's good enough for me. God is a God who doesn't assume things, doesn't jump to conclusions, and isn't conceited. God is my Protector.

I'll tell you something.
I love hearing stories of how people get saved. I love to hear good news.
But recently, I love hearing bad news. It helps me. Forget. Everything. Start new.

I want to disappear.. disappear from the world.
My ignorance has become a nuisance & I'm sick of people.
Let's play a game, shall we? Just to spice things up.
But be careful, it can get out of hand & when it does
I won't be here to lend you a hand. You've pushed me away.
No more. I'm still playing this game, with tricks up my sleeve.
I'm cheating my way to the end, only because you're playing the game.
I'll be happy just to see all of you crying.

^ -- Truthful huh? The truth is in this poem. Try translating if you can. There's a deeper meaning to this poem than you think. Don't always go for the first thing that pops into your mind or the first reasonable thing that comes. If you do, you're not really thinking about it.

Disappear.
75%. 25% more. Then it's gone.