Friendship

"The better friends you are, the more likely you'll face conflicts" - Brant R. Burleson


This is a grave issue for me and one of my bestest friends. Although I understand that she has a job, has a boyfriend, and her parents "wants" her to help them with things, I feel like she has a choice. I mean, I don't want to sound greedy and possessional of her, but I feel like she isn't really appreciating what we have. She could be appreciating it in her own way, I hope. She doesn't call anymore and the only time she'll call me is when she feels that the thing she wants to talk to me about is very important. I try to call her when I can, or when I'm thinking about her, or when I'm feeling down or bored. I guess she might think I don't listen to her, but I do; it's just that I have short-term memory (and she knows that) so I wouldn't be able to remember everything she tells me. She always assumes that I remember it just cause we're best friends or that she thinks she told me more than once. If she told me more than once, I'm sure I'd remember.


Why are you suddenly bringing this up, Jasmine, you ask?


I'm bringing this subject up because I'm reading GodChicks by Holly Wagner right now and this quote (up there) took me by surprise. There's another quote, just now actually, as I am slowly reading this book, that got my attention.


"I believe that love is about being the first one to say, 'I'm sorry'" - Holly Wagner


To continue; These two quotes has just encouraged me to start thinking about my relationship with that friend. I won't say which friend, because I don't want to point a finger at anyone 'cause it's rude (haha). I just wanted to bring this up because I finally realized why she and I have been having numerous conflicts this past two to three years. After I carefully read that first quote, I kind of got a kick out of it, saying, "heh..." to myself. She is a good friend and I am in debt to her. I feel honored to be her best friend as well. I forgave her countless times and yet... she still does what she does. I'm not so totally sure how she thinks of me, but I plan to follow what Holly says and continue to try being the first one to say "I'm sorry." I love her. She's like my sister in a way. If anything happened to her, I wouldn't know what to do, to say, or to act. Speechless, perhaps? Crying, maybe? or... Forgiving to the cause? I think it'd be all of them. After accepting God into my life once again, I finally understand, even if it's just a bit, to forgive more easily than before. Also, I've learned not to be mad about something so seriously, not to be so jealous of another, and etc.


God. I pray that You shine Your light on her, continuing to open up her heart to You, Lord. Flood her dreams with Your mercy and righteousness. Shower her with Your love, God. Cover her with Your blood so she may be protected for life, Lord. Build her path to You, Jesus. Show her visions and miracles. With these, reel her heart in and touch it with Your glory and show her that You are REAL. In Jesus's name, lift up her soul and spirit to You! In Jesus' name, Amen!


♥ Jasmine the Shijinko. ;P