Ok. This post is going to be one of those, what you'd call "being emo," blogs.
So. Some of you might know about that person I've liked for nearly a year already, am I right? Well, before him, there was this person who I liked basically for a year and a half and for that guy, I told myself that if I couldn't "be" with him at all during the time I get to know him more than before, I'll just be happy with being his friend. So, I became his friend instead because he got with someone else. Now thinking back on it, letting go of him was a piece of cake because of what I told myself. So I have no regrets there or anything of that kind. But... for this recent person, it's totally different. I haven't told myself anything for the past year of what to do if I find out he has someone in his heart, I'd something something. But I haven't even figured out what that something is and this happens! Mind if I rant a little? I hope not. Ugh, this always happens. It's not like I mind much, but it's just so tiring every time. I need to figure out what that something is before anything else happens. Or else, I'll never actually stop having this intense miserable crush on him. I've heard a lot of advices and none really takes a lead on what I should do in the mean time. They're all about what I should do overall. This takes time, like I always say. It can't be done in one simple swipe. I need steps. STEPS. This makes me so uncomfortable and weary. Irritated. Frustrated. Psychotic even. Or maybe I'm just..... I don't know. I really need to be more patient than the level I'm at which is pretty patient if you ask some people. I'm very lenient. Ah, so annoyed by this.
So why do I like him, you might ask? To be honest, I like him because of his smile & his odd sense of maturity that I rarely see in guys around the ages of 18 - 20. You might not see it in him, but I do. One day I want to have the courage to tell him that I know he doesn't and never will like me that way, (even so) I'll always be there for him. I'll always care about him. I know this might seem really corny in many ways, but it's the truth. The feeling about this is more than the last person, so I can really admit to it. And if I can't stop, ha, next level. Yes, I have levels. Anyways, I don't think I'd be this calm when I tell him in the future. I think I'd be crying a little. Ha. Dreadful crush.
Ok. I'm going to go cool off now. Or at least try to. /:
Sunday, November 4, 2007
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6 comments:
Jas, I can tell you're going through a hard time right now. I'm sorry I don't understand because I've never fell for anyone that hard. But I know that Jesus will always be there for you. He is, like Jack said, our fortress. Run to Him when you feel frustrated, because only He can satisfy our hearts and give peace to our minds. Let God's love heal and comfort you. I love you! Hang in there!
girlie, is this about *ahem*? don't worry about it. just focus on school and god. i've been through the same thing. just know that when the time is right, you'll come across someone even more wonderful.
Hey Jasy. Just hang in there. It's never too easy to let go of someone. If you want to rant just rant, but listen to what Alice and Stephanie said. Just focus on God, school and grades right now. I know I know. Easier said than done, but the thing is you really don't have to worry about this. When the time comes someone better will definitely fall your way.
emo post not.
guys are not worth a post. should waste ur blog for some random dude. who's probably an idiot (since 100% of boys or idiots).
watch out when someone unexpected sweeps you off your feet. serious. i think thats how God will show you the right guy.
Jas... call me anytime.
I need to rant a little as well... ><
got lots of support on this one...
crush crush or CRASH?
it's always an interesting thought...i'd love to share with you some of my stories...haha^^
of course, can't wait to hear about yours.
xoxo,
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